Millennial moms everywhere know the only way to get through their days is by having their mama tribe together in one text message group. These threads are typically a group of moms with kids around the same age where they share stories of their days, ask advice, and just commiserate with each other over the tough parts of motherhood. Honestly, these little chats are moms’ saving grace.
No matter what mom group you are in, chances are you are saying the same things to your friends as a mom in another group is. The mom tribe text thread is basically a suburb of the village of moms who are all experiencing the same things and trying desperately to get to the next stage of parenting (where they will continue to talk to each other, just about different questions about their kids).
10. “IS THIS NORMAL?”
“Is this normal” will be followed by a strange scenario the mom has dealt with. Maybe she’s pregnant and thinks she lost her mucus plug early but isn’t sure, maybe her child has a red dot on its skin that is new and doesn’t seem to be marker, or maybe she’s wondering if she has postpartum depression and wants to find out if anyone else felt a certain way or if she should call her doctor. Whatever the situation, every single mom group chat will have a variety of “is it normal” texts – because the truth is, it’s the blind leading the blind in motherhood.
9. “AM I BAD MOM FOR…”
“Am I a bad mom for…” is code for “I feel guilty, make me feel better”. Mom guilt is real and if we don’t do what we can to keep it in check, we will get to a point where we feel so guilty that we completely lose who we are just to avoid feeling like we’re letting our babies down. So, every text thread will have a long history of “am I a bad mom for” skipping bedtime tonight, not buying that overpriced toy, losing my temper today, letting them have fast food because I’m too exhausted to cook, and other things they do to keep their sanity and survive but society has led them to believe is wrong. Also, for any mom wondering if she’s a bad mom for “X” – let us assure you, you’re not, no need to text your friends to ask.
8. “LOOK AT THIS PICTURE”
The only people in the world who are patient enough to react to photos of your baby doing completely mundane things are your parents and your mama friends. That’s it. Your childless friends will “ooh” and “ahh” over the really cute pictures, but they really don’t care if your baby can hold its head up for 15 seconds straight.
That’s where mom texts come in. Those women will cheer on that baby and celebrate those 15 seconds with you, and you’ll do the exact same for them in a few days when their baby moves from formula to baby food, because you get it and so do they.
7. “WOULD YOU CALL THE DOCTOR?”
Any veteran mom knows that nine times out of ten, you will take your baby to the pediatrician because you’re so worried about them, only to spend $40 to be told: “it’s viral, you just have to wait it out”. Sometimes, it’s worth the money to get some peace of mind, but more often than not it’s just frustrating. So, you ask your fellow mamas what they’d do. You will literally give them as much information as you’d give the doctor, down to what method you used to get their temperature. This thread will collaborate, share their experiences, and together you’ll all take part in determining the best course of action. No copay required.
6. “SO. MUCH. POOP.”
There’s only a certain percent of the population who finds a discussion of poop-covered hands, furniture, or clothes normal – it’s moms (or medical personnel, but that’s beside the point). When you wake up to find your toddler has managed to take off its diaper and used its pooh as a method of finger painting, you need someone to help you process what you just experienced and not just get nauseous and ask you to please stop talking. This is why every mom group has dozens of texts about poop, and will very likely have dozens more.
5. “I HAVE BABY FEVER”
You could be minding your own business, blissfully enjoying the day with your big kid who is fully capable of using the potty and communicating their needs and then BAM you see an infant and it’s like everything in the universe is telling you “hey, remember how tough the baby stage was? Who cares, let’s do it again for the snuggles!”.
This is when you turn to your mom friends in a panic asking them if it’s a good idea or to remind you why the baby stage is so difficult. They are your source of reason after two giant 12-week-old eyes look up at you and convince you that it’s time for another one.
4. “WHY DID I HAVE KIDS?!”
If a mom says she’s never had a moment where she’s wondered “why did I have this child”, she’s lying. You can adore your child and still have times where you miss your old life and wonder “what have I done?!”, it’s okay. Even though this is a perfectly normal thing to feel, it’s not something many people will say out loud. Still, that feeling is a powerful one so moms need to process it and cope with it which is when they turn to their mom thread for a little support and reminders that “this isn’t forever” and “it will get better”.
3. “SORRY, I CAN’T – MY KID GAVE ME HER COLD”
For every invite to a group event within the mom text thread, there is at least one person who can’t come because their kid is sick or their kid got them sick. Children are gross, and they are covered with germs from places we’re not even sure how they got to.
Even though they’re horrible at sharing, in general, they’re always willing to share their latest virus with their mama by sneezing directly in her face or shoving their infected-saliva-covered finger up her nose. When this happens, moms head to their tribe to commiserate and declare surrender to the latest plague, and gracefully bow out of a get together.
2. “HOW CUTE ARE THE NEW KID’S CLOTHES AT TARGET?!
You can be the must un-basic mom in the world, but you can’t escape the cuteness of the kids’ clothes at Target. Look at a celebrity mama’s Instagram and chances are good that even their kid is sporting some Cat and Jack cuteness (sure they’re also wearing $150 designer jeans, but that’s not the point). Since no one can resist these little outfits, moms will ban together when they take their weekly trip to Target and share photos with their mama friends any time the display has changed and new styles are available. It’s a mom’s way of showing kindness to her friends.
1. “WE NEED TO TAKE A TRIP AND GET AWAY”
In the mom group, at some point, the stars will align and you’ll all be exhausted from parenting and needing a break. This is when someone will suggest you all take a trip to getaway. All of the moms will collectively agree and start throwing out ideas for where to go, what to do, and when to do it. In the end, out of 12 “we need to take a trip” messages, only one will come through, and it will likely be the one that is in driving distance from your city because no one wants to be too far away from the kids. But, it’s okay, because you all get it and that’s the entire point of the thread.